"She opens her mouth with skillful and godly Wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness -- giving counsel and instruction." Proverbs 31:26
In the Amplified translation, the word Wisdom is capitalized. It is also capitalized in Proverbs 1:23, where it reads, " ... I [Wisdom], will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you." We know from John 1:1 that Christ is the Word. The footnote on Proverbs 1:23 in the Amplified further tells us: "The Apostle Paul called Christ 'the wisdom of God ... in Whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.' (1Cor. 1:24; Col. 2:3)" 1 (see Notes)
1Corinthians 1:24 says that "Christ [is] the power of God and the wisdom of God." In Proverbs 3:15, this same Wisdom is said to be "more precious than rubies, and nothing you can wish for is to be compared to her." Solomon, who was only about twenty years old when he was anointed king, inherently knew this; when God appeared to him in a dream and asked what He would give him, Solomon asked for wisdom instead of riches (see 1 Kings 3). God was pleased with his request which showed a humble heart and a willingness to lead God's people well, and bestowed riches and honor upon him, just as it says in Proverbs 3:16: "Length of days is in her" (Wisdom's) "right hand, and in her left hand are riches and honor." The reverential and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning, the foundation, for growing in wisdom.
It is powerful that this Wisdom, so described, is what comes forth from the mouth of the Proverbs 31 woman. The depth of her relationship with God is immeasurable, and it is the basis of her dealing wisely and well in any and all things pertaining to her life. To have skillful and godly Wisdom is to have everything you will ever need. Proverbs 1:33 says it perfectly: "But whoso hearkens to me [Wisdom], shall dwell securely and in confident trust, and shall be quiet without fear or dread of evil." Such is the life of this woman, and we can obtain this same Wisdom through daily prayer and study of God's Word. God will also impart wisdom to us directly if we ask Him, in faith (again, James 1:5). The Holy Spirit imparts spiritual growth to us and, as we walk in the light we've received, God gives us more and more wisdom and spiritual knowledge. We keep on growing in sanctification as in the parable of the talents: "For to every one who has will more be given, and he will be furnished richly so that he will have abundance." (Matthew 25:29)
The "law of kindness" in operation as she gives counsel and instruction is of vital importance in this verse. The Proverbs 31 woman doesn't scold or criticize, but rather in a kind and gentle manner gives counsel where asked for or needed. We know that the counsel and instruction she gives comes from her skillful and godly Wisdom, and the implication is that she gives it whenever and to whomever she is called upon to do so -- not just within her own household, but outside it as well. Here again is her spirit of giving, which we learned of in verse 20.
It's important to note that her advice is prefaced by kindness, for this is the heart from whence it comes, and to which others will readily respond. Her instruction comes from a caring heart rather than a selfish need to control or impress others. Her manner of speaking -- i.e. her words; her manner of speech -- is also kind. This comes directly from her heart, or inner man, "for out of the fullness -- the overflow, the superabundance -- of the heart the mouth speaks." (Matthew 12:34) Whenever we find our hearts in inner turmoil or anxiety, unable to calmly deal with others, we can always pray for peace and a change of heart from God as He promised His people in Ezekiel 36:26: "A new heart I will give you ... I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh ..." This verse is referring to a heart that receives God, soft and willing, but such a heart will not deal with others in a harsh way. Such a heart is the product of a close relationship with God and a constant gleaning of His Wisdom and instruction.
Dake's expands on Proverbs 31:26 in footnote:
"She opens her mouth and speaks wisdom. Kindness is the grace of her lips. She is wise and intelligent and highly cultured in mind and manners. She is graceful and even-tempered in all her ways. (v.26). There are few managing women who are not lords over their husbands, tyrants over their servants, and haughty toward their neighbors. She is an excellent example of a meek and quiet spirit. (1 Peter 3:1-8)" 2 (see Notes)
The Greek word rendered "meek" in 1 Peter 3:4, praos, does not suggest weakness in any way. On the contrary; it is the fruit, or manifestation of the power available to a believer as he or she is humble before God, and thus is able to tap into God's infinite resources at any time, for any circumstance. It is a true and absolute humility before God which allows Him to work fully to produce results on behalf of His children. Feminist activism tells women that they must be ever-vigilant and ever-fighting for their rights in society, in the workplace, and in their homes, but any woman who is well-grounded in God's Word and secure in her relationship with Him will never feel compelled to take on a forceful tack, for she knows God goes before her, smoothly paving the way. This is certainly less tiring, and its result is that she will more easily and more quickly gain the respect and cooperation of others.
Praos is part of "turning the other cheek" and being slow to take offense at a suffered wrong (see 1 Corinthians 13:5, which is within the Bible chapter on agape love). Such a wife, for example, would never emasculate her husbnad through an abrasive manner; this would ultimately make her life and her position more difficult with each passing day. Instead, she is "as the loving hind and pleasant doe [tender, gentle, attractive]" (see Proverbs 5:19).
A woman secure in God's love and His place for her can live her life and carry out her responsibilities with quiet assurance and self-confidence.